What, in God's name, are we doing?

It's a complicated issue.

It falls in the same category of conflict as when the previous Book of Order said that persons "refusing to repent of what the confessions call sin" cannot stand for ordination in the PCUSA. But when you look at the laundry list of things that the Book of Confessions named as sinful, well, that pretty much included anyone who's breathing. (Usury, gluttony, women who baptize babies...but I digress)

This one, though, has another layer added to it.  Our polity makes it clear that the pastor is the one who decides for whom he or she will perform marriage ceremonies.  (I've declined to do one wedding in my career, but that's a whole 'nother blog post) The Book of Order clearly defines marriage as being between "a man and a woman." But now there are a handful of states which legally permit same-sex marriage. 

So what is a pastor to do when two of those three qualifications are met? It's a legal marriage and the pastor feels called to conduct it, but the Book of Order says no. Or, the Book of Order says yes and it's legal, but the pastor does not feel called to conduct it.

This is the situation in which the Rev. Tara Spuhler McCabe found herself earlier this year when she was asked to preside at the wedding for two women in a jurisdiction where that was legal. The women were not Presbyterian, but that's not the issue.  The jurisdiction was legal, but that's not the issue. She chose to break her ordination vows to uphold the Constitution of the Presbyterian Church (USA) when she chose to preside at this ceremony.

Many pastors have gone against their church's polity over the ages. That's not a first.  People who have taken ordination vows have broken those vows when they believed that they were being led by God to do so, out of pastoral duty or theological conviction.

It's a complicated issue.

There are many, many people in the Presbyterian Church (USA) who are convinced that she did the wrong thing.  She chose to do so after she had been nominated to stand for Vice-Moderator of the denomination, which felt deceptive to some. She broke her ordination vows, which was offensive to many - and especially so when the one breaking her vows was standing for a position of national leadership. And she did so by going against the polity that we Presbyterians work so laboriously to craft, hopefully and prayerfully in conjunction with the working of the Holy Spirit. Presbyterians can err in a heartbeat, and as Calvinists at their root they will be the first to tell you so. But there were many who felt betrayed by what Tara considered to be a pastoral choice.

The Rev. Neal Presa, the brand-new Moderator of the General Assembly, chose Tara as his running mate because they had stringently different theological views but were still beloved friends and colleagues - and that was their hope for the denomination: to model that people of good faith can indeed differ and still consider each other to be people of good faith who seeking the leading of Jesus Christ in their lives.  Many people based their support for Neal on his choice of running mate and what that represented:  hope that we can overcome the "blue state-red state" mentality which is so prevalent in our society.

But yesterday, Rev. McCabe chose to step down from her service as Vice-Moderator to the General Assembly because of all the controversy which has arisen regarding her candidacy and election. She served for approximately three days. According to her statement, the blogosphere and Tweetosphere had gone crazy with remarks, innuendo, and plain mean-spiritedness. There will likely yet be ecclesial charges filed against her for what she as a pastor chose to do.

My question is this:  how many dozens, if not hundreds, of people, have broken their ordination vows in the way they have conducted themselves about this matter?  Many of the ones who were blogging and Tweeting and stirring up foment have themselves taken vows to uphold the "peace, unity and purity of the church," and to be "a friend among their colleagues in ministry."

It's a complicated issue.  And one that has made me heartsick and angry for almost 24 hours.  I was not able to celebrate the Fourth with fireworks last night; my heart was just not in it.

I tend to be someone who believes that one sin is not greater than another; it's all sin. And I believe that breaking one ordination vow is as serious as breaking another.

The very worst thing for me about this whole situation, which I believe is the lowest point in my life as a Presbyterian, took place last night when the commissioners in plenary voted - not once, but twice - not to talk to one another. The Moderator offered one occasion for the floor to take 15 minutes in "talk back" time just to say whatever was on minds and hearts.  That suggestion was defeated.  And then when another motion was made - in the context of electing a new vice-moderator - to give the floor 20 minutes to discuss what had happened earlier that afternoon with the resignation, the motion failed by one vote: 323 to 322 with 17 abstentions.

It is bad enough to break ordination vows in order to conduct a pastoral act.  It is worse still to serve as judge and jury through the ease of the Internet.  But when we cannot even take the time to talk to each other about what has happened - which in itself is a pastoral act - where in God's name are we as a denomination?  What, in God's name, are we doing?

I go back to the plenary sessions today with a very heavy heart.